Most everything you do is done based on how you feel. You sleep in because you feel tired. You eat junk food because you feel entitled or you deserve it (for whatever reason). You shop because you feel you deserve something new. You get upset with our boss because he hurt your feelings. You skip a workout because you feel overwhelmed with everything going on. You choose a job that makes you feel safe. You choose activities that make you feel comfortable and confident. All these reactions are inspired by emotions. What if you shifted your mindset and started thinking – not feeling – before making decisions? What if you trusted yourself and stopped trusting your emotions? Do you think this is possible?
I want you to stop the “feeling – then – reacting” pattern in your life. Yes, feelings are good and have a place but for you to truly be happy and satisfied you need to ask yourself, without feeling, what do I want to become? What is it that you want to become based on your destiny? This may take you some time to figure out but I will tell you this. If you stop acting based on your feelings and start acting based on what you want to truly become you will make better decisions by taking productive action.
For example: If you want to become a successful business owner you will need to draw up a business plan, talk to investors, and maybe take some business classes or look to those doing what you want for direction. Now if you start to feel overwhelmed during this process and you start to feel it is too hard, you will start taking actions that drive you away from your goal. Like, putting off business calls because you just can’t take one more rejection… again your feelings getting in the way. You may choose to sleep in and take the day off because you feel you have done so much and nothing is changing… so what is one day off, right? You make these decisions based on your feelings when you really should be asking yourself, “What do I want to become? Why did I start this? Who do I want to become?” Ask yourself these questions when you start reacting and making decisions based on your emotions. Answer these questions straight to the point and take actions that move you towards your goals and towards the person you want to become.
We stop reminding ourselves of what we want to become because our feelings get in the way and cloud our vision. We all struggle, and when struggle occurs, that is most often when people stop doing the things that were moving them towards their goals. We get sidetracked by our emotions and lose sight of our goals and focus too much on how we feel. This emotional distraction can even occur when we hit a high. We get excited about something that happened and we did so well, then shortly after this high, we stop doing the things that got us to that excitement. This takes us back to our autopilot state and you know what happens there (if you don’t know what autopilot is you must read Stop Bullying Yourself! Available on Amazon in April 10, 2017).
I believe the biggest reason people fail at meeting their business goals and even their health goals, such as, eating healthier and exercising, is because they let their emotions control them. They don’t let the person they want to become be their focal point. They focus on how they feel, what they don’t have, what they are missing out on, when in fact if they focused on who they were becoming and the actions needed to reach their goals they would find success.
Tips to stop letting emotions lead your life:
- Find others that are who you want to become. Proceed with caution as well. It is great to have a mentor but understand that they are not perfect and it was not easy for them either. Be mindful of this.
- We must stop asking our friend who is working as a computer technician how to successfully open a gym. We need to stop asking our family or friends about their diet plans when they too are still overweight, not eating healthy or reaching their goals. We go to those we feel comfortable with instead of going to those who know, who have done, and those who are doing what we want.
- Check your feelings at the door when you are deciding who it is that you want to become. Our feelings will make you choose to be practical and will guide you to choose the easier route. Just think, “Who do I want to become and why?”
- Be okay and proud when you fail at something and look for the lessons, then remind yourself of what you learned and how that is helping you become or achieve your goals.
Remember, true happiness comes out of struggle if and only if, when you were struggling, you did not allow your emotions to dictate you, but you allowed your vision of who you are becoming to drive you and guide you. Look very closely at how your day is dictated. Is it dictated by your emotions or your destiny?