You haven’t broken that promise to yourself, have you? You know the promise you made when the clock struck midnight, ringing in our New Year, on Jan 1? The commitment you made to yourself declaring you will make 2022 your healthiest-happiest year ever!?
Well, have you been fulfilling your commitment? Or has the aggravation set in?
You may be thinking: The first few days were intense. I did outstanding work, but as the last couple of weeks rolled in, that promise started to fade, and life started to resemble 2021, 2020, and every other New Year’s resolution I ever made, uhh!
Did you have a particular goal, but life just got in the way — again. You started giving in to the excuses and lowering your expectations. You don’t want to fail, but you kind of knew it was a long shot anyway, right? WRONG!!!
First, stop making promises to yourself that do not align with what you ultimately want (don’t make your goals based on society’s standards). Second, stop breaking the promises that align with what you desperately desire.
Now, let me share a little secret with you. Many of us overlook a missing piece entirely to New Year’s resolutions (and achieving goals in general). We must change our systems and habits and go deep to achieve mastery. For example, if you resolved to lose weight, your number one focus shouldn’t be weight loss. Instead, your number one goal should be to recognize why and how your behavior got you to where you are and shift the systems and habits that put you there.
Maybe, in this case, it is overeating late at night because you feel lonely. The goal can be to replace this habit (overeating late at night) with another practice that can become a part of your better system toward a healthier-happier you.
So what are some things you can replace overeating with at night? Take a bubble bath and engage in another self-care pampering activity during this time. How about taking a late-night walk to enjoy the stars, reading a book, listening to a podcast, journaling, or having a phone-a-friend on standby? What activities can you choose to replace late-night snacking? Now, another critical piece — the loneliness. Can you identify this loneliness? Do you know where it is coming from? Why do you give it so much power? What is it that you genuinely need in those moments of loneliness?
It is time to get connected within…
If we can connect emotions to our promises, we will be more likely to keep them with ourselves. Conversely, if we make cheap, unemotional promises to ourselves, we are more likely to break them. As you know, emotions can be an ebb and flow, so to lock in your commitment to yourself; you must remember to also replace your old bad habit with a new routine, all while acknowledging the arising emotions. No more suppressing how you feel. No more hiding behind a bowl of Rocky Road at 11 p.m. It is time to step into what you truly want and need and not hold back on going after it.
If you need support moving beyond limiting habits and beliefs, it may be the year to hire a coach or find a mentor or partner to support you. But, you don’t have to go at it alone. So, what support do you need?