Jealousy is an ugly word surrounded with bad energy. But Jealousy is also a very complex emotion that deserves some unpacking. The interesting part about feeling jealousy is that it forces us to look within and reflect. We feel jealousy for two fundamental reasons. One, we are witnessing a quality within someone else that we are capable of but just haven’t yet achieved it ourselves. And two, jealousy is an emotion based in fear. You can feel jealous of another's success yet, you are fearful to take the same leap they took to get to that point. You can feel jealous of another’s relationship but you have yet to lay down the foundations for a strong loving relationship because of the fear of rejection or dissatisfaction or disappointment, etc.
Why do we even feel jealousy in the first place? Low self-esteem? Feelings of jealousy can be rooted in the fact that you haven’t done the work to increase your self-esteem to a healthy level. Need I remind you that strong self-esteem is rooted in: seeking and developing positive relationships, eating the right foods, following your higher purpose, exercising, getting enough sleep, practicing good posture, following your dreams, managing your money, moving beyond your past experiences, and being a part of something bigger than yourself! I know it takes a lot to build confidence, so make sure you are always building up and not knocking down.
We must shift jealousy into positive energy. We must shift jealousy into praise and encouragement for that person, all while squashing our fears and taking action towards what we truly desire. See jealousy as a friendly reminder that it’s time to do some emotional health maintenance.
Other words that are similar to jealousy are envy, desire, and resentment. One can understand envy and desire, but resentment? The resentment felt is probably not for that person but for the fact that you are not being the best person you could be or you are not living your true purpose. That resentment is towards ourselves yet we are projecting it onto someone else. Feelings of jealousy should be shifted into feelings of encouragement for you to start living the life you desire.
If you find yourself feeling jealous, ask yourself…
- What do I see in them that I could work on within me?
- What actions can I take in my life to live my higher purpose?
- What is it that I truly need at this moment to feel better? (Do I need more rest, nutrition, water, exercise?)
- Why does this person bring out these emotions in me? What is my lesson here?
- What can I do to improve my self-esteem right now?
- What can I do to build self-esteem in the long-term?
- What is jealousy telling me I need to work on?
Let the feelings of jealousy be a motivation to go deeper within and reflect as to why you actually feel jealous. All jealousy represents is something within you that is not being expressed, accomplished, or discovered for your highest good. Also, practicing mindfulness and keeping a gratitude journal can be great practices to combat the negative feeling of jealousy. Do you have a mindfulness practice? Could you pick up a notebook to journal in?
Go deep, take action, encourage others, and know jealousy is rooted in dark energy to slow you down and block you from your greatness. Unblock yourself! - Anna Marie
Found this quick video and found it to be a great add-on to this post! Enjoy!
It has been a long time desire to have an online platform to share some of my life lessons with you. This desire started with a thought, followed by action, that is now a reality. The HappyWholeYou program is a program to help you improve your overall well-being.
I will be writing on a variety of life topics that truly impact the WHOLE you. Topics such as nutrition, physical fitness, finances, family life, communications, spiritual well-being, and mindfulness to name a few. The goal is for all of us to realize we must be working on all aspects of our lives instead of thinking we feel the way we feel as a result of one thing. Or we are not as successful because of one thing. The reductionist approach and blame game stops here.
An example of this false reality: The idea of losing weight or just making a lot of money will improve your happiness and success is misleading. Just losing 10-20 pounds is not going to make you happy. Yes, is a step in the right direction but it is only one piece of the pie. This weight-loss will help, but you cannot neglect the other aspects of your life while you are trying to achieve this goal. You must still nourish your spiritual health, your financial health, your relationships. All too often we put too much emphasis on one aspect of our live's neglecting the other aspects. We must think of our WHOLE life; the WHOLE you.
Working, on the WHOLE you takes effort, but it is enjoyable work. I hope to open your mind to a new way of thinking. No longer will you want to take the reductionist approach to your life. Wholism is where happiness and growth awaits.
You may be asking why I wanted to create this platform and help others. To be honest, I have had my fair share of struggles. I know we all have, but I have been able to find a way to take my struggling mindset and shift it in a way where I have left behind the "poor me" way of thinking to create a successful, happy, life.
Before I close this message, I would like you to think about a few aspects of your life. Take a pen and paper and draw a big circle on the paper. Then within that circle draw another circle and write your name in it. Then make a line from your "name" circle and connect it to the outer circle. You are going to do this four times creating four different pieces within your circle. Label each section with the following: Health, Financial, Hobbies, and Relationships. Now take a colored pencil start at your name and in each section (use a different color in each section) color out how far you think your life represents. For example, if you color all the way to the outer circle in your health category I would assume you have a strong, nutritional health, emotional health, physical health, and spiritual health. Think of the outside circle being a 10-excellent and the closer your color to the outside circle represents how strong you are in that area. I completed a project like this in a college class. I found I was a workaholic who lacked good relationships and neglected my spiritual side. I had some work to do!
I have some worksheets and images I will be sharing on this site that will help you get a better grasp of the holes in your life. Sometimes we don't even realize where we are lacking. I would have never thought I was a workaholic and my relationships were suffering but then again I was working so hard I didn't pay attention to this. It is always good to slow down visualize aspects of our lives and set a game plan for improvement. The key is creating awareness. Do that now with your Happy-Whole-You pie matrix. Become aware of the WHOLE you. Report back what you find. I would love to share some of my reader's results with other users. We are all in this together. -Anna