For the 20-year old: Three unrealistic expectations that harm!
Three things I wish I knew when I was 20!
Moms, Just Breathe!
Dear Mommy’s,
Life can be stressful and being a mom can add to that stress. Mom's can take on so much and we forget to just breathe and relax. When life gets crazy it is important to stay calm and don't hold your breath. We have to laugh at the things that otherwise make our blood boil. Here are some common situations that are not life or death and we need to remember to breathe...
When your coffee spills on you and your leather seats…Just breathe!
When your kid pukes all over and misses the bucket or toilet…Just breathe!
When you have to wear a bra on a Saturday…Just breathe!
When your kids find your stash of chocolate…Just breathe!
When your husband tells you to relax…Just breathe!
When your kid says, “Just relax mom”...Just breathe!
When your husband clips his nails and leaves them in the bathtub or on the countertop...Just breathe!
When the school asks for you to volunteer just one more time…Just breathe!
When you burn dinner…Just breathe!
Got distracted and forgot to get kids...Just breathe!
When your dishwasher breaks…Just breathe!
When you get the car back on empty…Just breathe!
When the toilet paper roll has four squares left…Just breathe!
When the person in front of you can not make up their mind when ordering...Just breathe!
When you change the baby, get them in their car seat, and they shart all up their backside…Just breathe!
When the kids and your spouse leave every light on in the house…Just breathe!
When your Netflix binge is interrupted by, “Mom I just can't sleep!”...Just breathe!
When your dog runs away and you are in a hurry...Just breathe!
When you clean your house and 2 hours later it looks like it never happened...Just breathe!
When all your friends get to have mommy outings and you have no one to watch the rugrats…Just breathe!
When you set your alarm for 5:45 PM, not AM...Just breathe!
When you’re running late to work because your kid is refusing to wear pants... Just breathe!
When you realize you will never catch up on all the laundry you have to fold...Just breathe!
When you double book appointments and don’t realize it until the last minute...Just breathe!
When your husband feels neglected because you’ve been taking care of everyone else then you crash at the end of the day...Just breathe!
When the cute new sweater you’re wearing for the first time gets baby puke all over it...Just breathe!
All we can do is breathe!
Break Through Your Limits
Life is funny. More often than not, we go about life “playing it safe,” which means, repressing your fears. You really give up a lot because you’re handcuffed to your fears that are paralyzing you, all in order to avoid facing those fears. I used to “play it safe” too, and only recently began to grasp the fact that by doing so, I’d put myself in a glass cage. I can see outward but can only go so far. I realize that so many others do the same thing and I wonder, Why do we do this?
I guess we think that if we don’t go to certain “dark” or “uncomfortable” places where the fear resides in our own minds, everything will be okay. We just have to stay in the glass cage and not cross certain boundaries. Wrong! The glass cage we have put ourselves in is a false safety zone and we are really not okay. Press too hard on the glass and it will break, and we all know how dangerous cut glass is. But what if we leave the glass cage behind? Maybe we’ll have greater success... even fly! The fact is that the glass cage doesn’t serve us well.
As we become wiser, we realize that the very things we do to “play it safe” and “protect” ourselves are often the very things that harm us! The mechanisms of protection we layer ourselves with are varied. Repressing our fear is one way we try to protect ourselves. Think of how you may have held on to a relationship that no longer served you. Why did you hold on to it? Maybe because you feared the alternative of loss and being alone? But what if by letting go, you soon find yourself in a healthier, more compatible relationship? Interestingly, the truth is that holding on to fear creates blockages in your energy field. It also lowers your vibration, your frequency! Releasing negative energies (toxic people, things, thoughts, emotions) opens you up to receiving people, things, thoughts, emotions and opportunities that vibrate at a higher frequency.
We all vibrate at a specific frequency. The lower the frequency, the more heavy and dense the vibration is. The higher the frequency, the lighter and more energetic we feel. The good news is that we actually get to choose our frequency with our thoughts. Positive thoughts create a higher vibration. Negative thoughts and fearful thoughts create a denser, heavier frequency that weighs us down. So, it is no wonder we get stuck in the glass cage. The not-so-good-news is that the longer we stay in the glass cage, the lower our frequency becomes and the heavier we feel. It’s what makes us feel stuck. But we never are really stuck, we just need to start thinking positive thoughts. That will raise our vibration and lighten us up so that we move forward.
Let’s take a simple example. Say you trip and fall (I hope not!) You immediately start complaining. You tell everyone you know, “I started off the morning with a fall. What a crappy day! And I still hurt.” Chances are that as your day continues, it will unfold in the worst way. “I had the worst day today. The entire day was crap and everything was yucky! It started when I fell.” Soon your coworker is complaining about all the negative things in her life, too. Uhhhhh!!!! Now imagine that you fall and immediately get yourself back up, dust yourself off, grab some ice for your knee, maybe laugh at how clumsy you are. Then you go on with your day grateful that you’re okay and your injury wasn’t worse! This latter thought pattern keeps you vibrating at a higher frequency, which in turn attracts high vibrational energy. After all, like attracts like.
If we can all set our fear aside and realize that fear exists at a very low vibration that prevents us from flying high, we can start to break free from the glass cage we have put ourselves in.
Over the last two decades I had put myself in a glass cage. I told myself, “Just play it safe; get a job, get insurance, and blah-blah-blah.” But what if instead of just playing it safe, I had told myself, “Do what you love, help others, follow your purpose. Be who you are meant to be and be proud of who you are!” Wowzers! If there had been a class we could all have taken as a kid that taught us to be free of our fears and fly… can you imagine? Instead, what we got was the fears of others projected onto us. So, from a very young age we are all programmed to be safe. “Play it safe, get a job, get insurance, and, by the way, government jobs are really super secure.” That’s the stuff that was programmed into us. It’s what was programmed into me as far back as I remember. Why? Because my parents’ fears were being projected onto me. They feared not having enough, not having job security, not having insurance, and their fear became my fear. “Avoid doing what you love if it doesn't include all these things!” Barf!
Well, I allowed my parents' fears to drive me all of my adult life - until a few months ago. Now I actively remind myself that working for myself, doing what I love to do, and making a difference in the world, is okay! I mean - geez! - I have to remind myself and give myself permission to be the amazing human I was meant to be!
Reprogramming yourself takes time and work! It doesn't happen overnight but it starts changing as soon as you recognize your glass cage and the programming that has been downloaded into you and your mind. So, please, use this as a reminder to be you, follow your passions, and break through that glass cage. The world deserves to have the true you. To free yourself you must find out who you truly are!
Struggle With Jealousy?
Jealousy is an ugly word surrounded with bad energy. But Jealousy is also a very complex emotion that deserves some unpacking. The interesting part about feeling jealousy is that it forces us to look within and reflect. We feel jealousy for two fundamental reasons. One, we are witnessing a quality within someone else that we are capable of but just haven’t yet achieved it ourselves. And two, jealousy is an emotion based in fear. You can feel jealous of another's success yet, you are fearful to take the same leap they took to get to that point. You can feel jealous of another’s relationship but you have yet to lay down the foundations for a strong loving relationship because of the fear of rejection or dissatisfaction or disappointment, etc.
Why do we even feel jealousy in the first place? Low self-esteem? Feelings of jealousy can be rooted in the fact that you haven’t done the work to increase your self-esteem to a healthy level. Need I remind you that strong self-esteem is rooted in: seeking and developing positive relationships, eating the right foods, following your higher purpose, exercising, getting enough sleep, practicing good posture, following your dreams, managing your money, moving beyond your past experiences, and being a part of something bigger than yourself! I know it takes a lot to build confidence, so make sure you are always building up and not knocking down.
We must shift jealousy into positive energy. We must shift jealousy into praise and encouragement for that person, all while squashing our fears and taking action towards what we truly desire. See jealousy as a friendly reminder that it’s time to do some emotional health maintenance.
Other words that are similar to jealousy are envy, desire, and resentment. One can understand envy and desire, but resentment? The resentment felt is probably not for that person but for the fact that you are not being the best person you could be or you are not living your true purpose. That resentment is towards ourselves yet we are projecting it onto someone else. Feelings of jealousy should be shifted into feelings of encouragement for you to start living the life you desire.
If you find yourself feeling jealous, ask yourself…
- What do I see in them that I could work on within me?
- What actions can I take in my life to live my higher purpose?
- What is it that I truly need at this moment to feel better? (Do I need more rest, nutrition, water, exercise?)
- Why does this person bring out these emotions in me? What is my lesson here?
- What can I do to improve my self-esteem right now?
- What can I do to build self-esteem in the long-term?
- What is jealousy telling me I need to work on?
Let the feelings of jealousy be a motivation to go deeper within and reflect as to why you actually feel jealous. All jealousy represents is something within you that is not being expressed, accomplished, or discovered for your highest good. Also, practicing mindfulness and keeping a gratitude journal can be great practices to combat the negative feeling of jealousy. Do you have a mindfulness practice? Could you pick up a notebook to journal in?
Go deep, take action, encourage others, and know jealousy is rooted in dark energy to slow you down and block you from your greatness. Unblock yourself! - Anna Marie
Found this quick video and found it to be a great add-on to this post! Enjoy!
Stop Your Inner Bully
Hi Friends,
One topic that you will hear me speaking about is the "inner bully." Some people refer to this as the negative voice inside your head. Whatever you call it, step on it, and throw it out!
We are so hard on ourselves and we need to stop! Think of some the mindless negative things you may say to yourself everyday. What are they? Do they sound something like; "I wish I had it all together like she does." or "I look fat in that." or "When will I catch a break?" or "She is better than me at everything?" or "Why does my marriage struggle so much?" or "Man she is the best Christian ever!" or "I am too old, or too fat, or not good enough." STOP!
We all have an inner bully that pushes us down in life. The worse part is that we allow it! Why? If we said half the negative things we said to ourselves to someone else we definitely would not have many friends.
I am here to tell you to STOP bullying yourself. NO one, and I mean NO one, has it all together 100% of the time, so don't allow your inner bully to tell you otherwise. Our inner bully will cause us to be tense around others and decrease our ability to reason clearly. This usually leads to us taking our stress out on loved ones.. like our spouse! I am guilty of that!
Just today had to call up a neighbor (I have never done this before) and asked if she and her husband could watch our two kids for two hours. They agreed and I went out to dinner with my husband for the first time in months...MONTHS!!! An argument that sparked this morning, I took as an encouraging moment to make a plan to have one on one time, for what I called a "Save our marriage dinner." We let way too much time go between husband and wife time. It was nice and I am thankful our neighbors helped us out. The thing is if I had not set this up I am 99% sure there would still be tension between us, and my inner bully would point out how I needed to work on my marriage and tell me I wasn't doing a good job as a wife. A positive mind followed by action is the antidote to defeating the inner bully. Since I took action and set up a dinner were my spouse and I were able to talk things out. Communication is key! The less he communicates and the less I communicate the less enjoyable our marriage is. So remember everyone has their problems, so don't allow your inner bully to compare you to others.
The best thing we can start to do is reprogram our brains to look to the positive in every situation. Like this morning after the argument I knew this was a opportunity to spend time together (just us). Instead of letting things fester I addressed what was going on with a positive alternative to staying home, watching TV, and ignoring each other... yes that has happened!
Reprogramming your mindset to shift to the positive takes time but let me give you some examples of how you could rethink things! Your boss yells at you for missing a deadline. You say to you: "I am sure glad next time I will not let this happen. What a great learning opportunity!" Yes, you may not say this so chipper right away, but say it to yourself and once the pissed off look on your boss's face wears off you will digest the lesson and still have a smile on your face. Or let's say you forget to pay the credit card bill on time. You must say to yourself: "This is a good lesson. You worked hard for your money and now you are giving it a way for being late on a payment. I will not let this happen again." This is much better than crying and stressing over this late payment and you may even be able to get the late payment waived if you call the company and apologize that this one time you were late. If you are late more than once that is a whole other topic and blog post coming soon!
Here are some quick mind-shifts to reprogram your brain:
1. You failed again- shift to-You learned another new way not to do it!
2. That will never happen-shift to-How can I make this happen!
3. Dam that driver-shift to-Looks like they are in a hurry.
4. That will take too long-shift to-I am going to enjoy the process.
5. Your boss dislikes you-shift to-He/She is just getting to know me!
6. You have been gaining weight-shift to-I am starting to walk everyday on my break and I feel great.
7. A coworker is being rude-shift to-Maybe she is having a bad day; I am glad my day is looking up!
8. Your kids are driving you crazy-shift to-They are such a blessing and this time is going to fly by.
You will defeat the inner bully if you saturate your mind with positive thoughts! Find the good in all the bad. Go to the positive and enjoy the missteps of your day! -Anna
#bullying #happiness #love #happywholeyou #health #livehappy
Earthing: Don’t be Electron Deficient
Have you heard of the term Earthing? Earthing is a natural way to heal your body by connecting your skin to the earth. But why, you ask? Our Earth is alive and shares electrons we need. With the increased inflammation in our bodies scientist have now found links between touching our skin on the earth to decreased body inflammation.
You may be asking yourself, don't we already touch the earth? We walk on it everyday! Actually we do not touch the earth like we use to. If you think about it, when is the last time you walked barefoot on the grass or sand? The last time you put your feet in the ocean? When is the last time you laid your body on the ground? We are always wearing synthetic soles on our feet
. We sleep high off the ground in our beds. We walk on carpet or tile floors all day long. We do not connect to the earth like our ancestors did. Our ancestors use to sleep on the ground and dig in the dirt (this is why gardening is so good!). Many of us pay gardeners and we definitely don't sleep on the bare ground any more.
So, what can we do to improve our connection with the earth:
- Walk barefoot around in your front or backyard every morning for ten minutes. I do this every morning. You can follow me on SnapChat: Vanna2go
- Walk barefoot on any open grass area and damp grass is best.
- Put your feet in the ocean! Ocean water is the best conductor for earthing.
- Stretch on the grass. Sit down and let your legs connect.
- Sleep on an Earthing mat. You can order these online or get at some local health food stores.
- No grass? Walking on concrete barefoot can also provide some electron connection.
- Get your hands dirty and start to garden. Plant some flowers, fruits, and veggies.
For more information on Earthing I suggest you check out a book called “Earthing: The most important health discovery ever!” This book is by: Clinton Ober, Stephen t. Sinatra, M.D. and Martin Zucker. In this book they document how earthing constantly produces benefits, such as:
-Rapid reduction in inflammation
-Reduction in chronic pain even elimination of some chronic pain
-Reduced Stress
-Increased Energy
-Improved Sleep
-Faster recovery time for injuries
Let me know how Earthing helps you.
Get your Earth on! -Anna
#earthing #grounding #ocean #health #happiness #fitmama #livehappy #organic
Vampire Facial: Most Organic Facial
Today I decided to try the PRP (platelet rich plasma) facial, also known as, the Vampire Facial. The idea of taking my own blood, putting it back in my face and on my skin to heal my skin, seemed like a safe and healthier solution versus getting a chemical peel or laser treatment done. I also had a PRP injection in my foot to help heal the plantar fascia that I torn weeks ago and if injecting my own blood into my foot can heal a tendon or ligament I figured it must have incredible healing properties for the face.
I found a very educated and experienced doctor who explained the whole process to me. A PRP facial is where they take your own blood and spin it in a machine. The properties in the blood separate into what looks like a red liquid (red and white blood cells) and yellow liquid (platelet rich plasma). Both liquids are used during the facial.
First the doctor uses a derma roller to roll across the Skin. This causes little holes to be poked in your skin and then the red and white blood cells are massage into the skin (they do this 2 or 3 times). Once they use all the red liquid they let it sit on the skin for about 15 minutes. At the very end, if you choose, the doctor can take some of the red liquid and injected around the eyes or mouth. This doesn't feel good, but it is tolerable. After all of the red liquid is used and has set on your skin for 15 minutes it is then wiped off. Before you leave, the doctor then uses the yellow liquid and massages that into the skin. You wear this on your skin until the next day. It is clear and feels like a thin mask.
To me this facial is a no-brainer. You are using your own body compounds to recruit stem cells to repair damaged skin. I have included some pictures and steps from my experience below. This procedure cost me $500. Some doctors will charge up to $1,500. It's very important that you have a doctor who knows what they are doing and have experience with PRP. You also want someone who knows how to properly give this type of facial using the derma roller. Be sure to talk to your physician and feel comfortable with their technique. The benefits of the PRP facial will continue 3, 6, and 12 months from the day you get it. I am excited to reevaluate my skin in the next 3 months and every three months after that. I plan to get this facial once a year. Feel free to reach out to me on Facebook or SnapChat (Vanna2go) if you have any questions.
The season for overeating…Not this year!
It is that time of year again. The richness of our favorite holiday dishes and the added calories of our sweet specialty drinks are all within our reach over the next couple months. This is a special time for family and friends. A time that leaves us joyful in the moments, but a time that can leave us feeling guilty for overindulging. I have some mindful tricks that you can take to steer yourself clear of gaining the holiday weight!
- Have a game plan, Prep-Prep-Prep! You know what parties you will be attending and you know the office will be filled with cookies and treats. This is a great reason to meal prep your lunches and snacks for the weeks to come. Have high nutrient foods really to grab and go. Make a spinach salad for each day. Have pre-cut veggie sticks and some apples to grab. PREP-PREP-PREP!
- Have celery! Before every meal or at least before you attend a party or dinner eat two full celery sticks and have 8-10 oz of water before you go. Celery is full of fiber and water. This can help curb your appetite and keep you regular.
- Take smaller portions and chew! A big key is to put less on your plate. When you fill your plate don’t let the different foods touch. This is a great way to keep portions down and as you eat your smaller portions make sure you CHEW. Chew 15-20 times before you swallow. Slow down! It takes your brain about 15 minutes to register that you are full and satisfied.
- Drink up your H2O! Drinking more water during the holidays is a must. Staying hydrated will keep cravings to a minimum and help eliminate toxins from your body. I recommend drinking 16-20 oz of ice cold water every morning and then every hour down 8-10oz of water. If you are drinking coffee you want to be sure to double your water intake in the morning hours.
- Move your body! Vow to walk or move for at least 30 minutes every day while at work. This can mean you take the stairs, park in the furthest parking spot from the building, exercise on your breaks. Stay moving! I recommend doing this extra 30 minutes during your workday without eliminating what your workout routine already is. This is an add-in for the next couple months.
- Spice things up and hide the salt! Add some flavor to your dishes with spices like, turmeric, paprika, and cayenne pepper. Also use jalapeno peppers and herbs to add flavor. Also limit your salt intake. A great salt substitute that actually is salt and potassium is called “Salt for Life.” You can get it on ebay! I love it and it is 75% less sodium. It’s just potassium dipped in salt. Look it up and enjoy!
- Catch-up! This is a great time of year to pick up the phone and call an old friend. And while you are at it go for a walk or jump on your workout machine while you are chatting! This is good for your body and soul.
- Stay positive! Vow to only post positive things on your social media outlets and share healthy snacks and recipes. Also take pictures of the foods you are eating. Show how eating healthy is easy and if you can do it so can everyone else!
- Give Thanks! Every night write down three things you are thankful for. Keep this list going beyond the holidays, but you can use this list to share at the Thanksgiving table. Daily gratitude is good for all aspects of your overall well-being. Have your family participate in this as well.
Enjoy this time with your friends and family and I encourage you to spread joy to all those around you! -Anna
#holidays #eatclean #healthy #healthymama #happiness #befit #fiber
Weight Loss…The Missing Link… (Free Printable Download)
Have you ever been on a diet plan that included a workout regimen while limiting your food intake in order to lose weight? Did that plan ever suggest you improve other areas of your life simultaneously while improving diet and movement routine? Did you ever gain any of the weight back from your past diet programs? Did you ever feel deprived while on the program? Did you feel that your willpower was the only thing that stood in the way of you being happier, lighter, and more fulfilled?
All too often we think a diet and exercise routine is the ultimate answer to our weight loss, happiness, and well-being. I will not deny that nutritious eating and an exercise plan is very important, but they are not the only element needed for health success.
You must include working on all aspects of your life for any weight loss to stick. And I would guess the goal is not really weight loss... the goal is happiness with a fulfilling life.
So you may be asking, “What? Diet and exercise alone are not enough?” I am here to tell you, NO. You must take the “Whole." This “Whole” approach can be referred to as“Wholism” which is referenced in my book, "Stop Bullying Yourself!"
I spell wholism with a “W” because you need to be a whole person first. Wholism marries the words whole and Holistic. It is the practice of Holistic medicine that treats the whole person, as you too should treat all aspects of your life when you are on a journey towards health and happiness. Joining the whole approach with the Holistic approach to your life is key for long term success. At the end of the day, you need to be emotionally healthy, physically healthy, spiritually healthy, financially healthy, and healthy in your relationships with everyone, including the paramount relationship with yourself. So, you see it is not just diet and exercise alone that help you lose weight and keep you feeling great, you must add-in improvements in each area of your life.
An example of some areas to work on:
Building strong relationships! Why? Good relationships create the release of the hormone Oxytocin. Oxytocin is great for your heart, emotional well-being, it is an antioxidant. I have heard it termed as the anti-obesity hormone. Strong relationships also can help lower anxiety and create more confidence in your life. Do you think building stronger relationships would help you keep weight off? Or help you lose weight?
Improve your financial health! Many people lose sleep, stress eat, and get in arguments due to financial stress. Any time we increase our inner-stress a hormone called cortisol is released. The more cortisol you release throughout your day can impact your waistline and keep you from getting restful sleep. Some things you can do to minimize financial stress is to give yourself a budget, however, if you do not know where your money is already going you must track your spending first. Find out what you are spending your money on. Also, stop using credit! Once you give yourself a budget, give yourself cash for all your expenses for the week or only use a debit card. The key is to keep track of your debits, so you are not mindlessly swiping your credit card. I have found when I have my finances under control I am happier, I choose healthier foods, I sleep better, and I have more energy. Do you think this can help you lose weight or keep weight off?
Nurture yourself daily! You must take time for you! This will help lower stress and keep that cortisol level in check. A cost-effective way to treat yourself to some “me” time is to set up your bathroom and bedroom with a peaceful approach. Give yourself a bubble bath, exfoliate, shave, give yourself a facial, and moisturize your skin every night. Light some candles. Take all of your electronics out of your room. Go to bed early and limit your social media time to 10 minutes a day. Say daily affirmations to yourself and give thanks before turning in for the night. If you do have room in your budget go get a massage, buy quality sheets for your bed, make sure you have a comfy mattress that works for you. Maybe look into getting a sound machine (this would be the only electronics I suggest). The key here is to take time for you daily. Do you think a little “you” time every day would help you improve your health and even help you with weight loss?
As you can see you need more than just nutritious food and exercise. You need to practice wholism to have a wholistic life. I have created a Matrix for you to double-check and see if you are living a wholistically life every day. Use this matrix as a reminder for self-improvement and to keep you on track to reach your goals. It is not about a perfect balance or about perfection. Wholism is about being mindful of each aspect of your life and touching on each aspect every day. Also, get a coach to help you with this. Life coaches are a great asset to add to one's life.
See the matrix below...
Download the Happy Whole You Daily pdf worksheet!
#fitness #HealthyLiving #happiness #love #weightloss #momlife
Photo Credit https://simpleefocused.com/
Stop Bullying Yourself! (Free Printable Download)
Do you ever feel like you are just coming up a little short? Do you ever feel stuck? Do you ever feel like you are doing all the right things and still wonder why you’re struggling? Why you have not gotten the promotion you have been working towards? Why your relationships always seem to be problematic? Why life seems so hard? Have you ever wanted to learn something new, a new language, a new skill or whatever else, but don't? Why don't you? Have you ever wanted to lose weight and eat more fruits and vegetables, but have neither lost the weight nor improved your diet? Why? Have you ever wanted to volunteer more, or keep your house cleaner, or take a trip, but haven't? The answer is that your inner bully is leading your life's dance. Yes, you, the very person reading this! You are the biggest bully of all. You and only you are allowing your inner bully to control your life! Are you getting this? It is not your circumstances or those of someone else holding you back in life. You are holding yourself back from dancing freely and living a whole life.
You have an inner voice, a voice that tells you how great you are. But it can also, all too often, tell you that you are anything but great. It tells you to be “practical” and to “not dream too big.” It says, “You’re not good enough,” and “You deserve just what you have and nothing more.” It can try to convince you that you are “somehow less” than those around you.
You may not pay attention to this negative voice, but if it’s not dealt with, it will destroy your dreams, aspirations, relationships – in short, damage the quality of your life. It can stomp on your spirit and hold you down. This is the voice of your inner bully. The difference between a happy, successful person and everyone else is the successful person has learned how to win the battle with their inner bully and dance freely.
You can be a smart, talented, and awesome person, but your inner bully can make you think you are average or stupid, untalented, even a loser. If you’re a recent grad, your inner bully can make your feel as if you have no skills and don’t belong anywhere. It’s the inner bully that will make a new mom feel guilty because she’s chosen to work, or make her feel unsuccessful if she’s chosen to stay home with her new baby. It is the inner bully that encourages you to stay at a boring job because you believe you that you’ll never find anything else, or that you’re too old to change jobs, or too invested to start your own business. The inner bully uses the fear of failure to play you like a puppet. The inner bully will take your spirit and try to suppress it, slow you down, and ultimately stop you from reaching your passions and desires.
Like the bills that come every month, the tax season around the corner, and a bad penny, your inner bully constantly shows up to challenge you. Because its presence is so routine, you may actually have become numb to its destructive influence and feel that you have no control over it. But you do have control!
The toxicity of your inner bully’s negative self-talk will lead to the deterioration of your self-worth and the poisoning of a happy life if you are not able to recognize and squash its voice. Your inner bully is sneaky; you may deny that you even have an inner bully. News flash: You have an inner bully. I have an inner bully. Everyone does! Most people pass up the opportunity to deal with their inner bully. Those of you that grab a hold of it and combat it by using the strategies provided ahead will experience a more abundant, whole life. The longer you fail to address your inner bully, the less productive you will be, the more negative your outlook will become, and the less money you will make. You must address your inner bully in order to grow. You must suffocate the destructive words you say to yourself, so you will succeed!
I know all about the inner bully. I had allowed my inner bully to control my happiness and success for years before I learned how to dominate it. In formulating the worksheets and exercises provided on my website you can defeat the bully within you by living wholisticlly (Yes, spelled with a "w").
So, what is the inner bully and how do you overcome its destructive influence? What is the key that will unlock the happy, successful future you deserve and what is the formula that will leave you dancing a beautiful life-dance? The answer is to put a little effort into each aspect of your life everyday and get rid of the "trash" in your life. You will begin with getting rid of the trash with the worksheet provided below. Then you must evaluate where you are now by doing the happy-whole-you-daily worksheet. From there you will reveal the areas in your life that need some extra attention. Remember, anytime you work towards improving one area of your life don't abandon the other areas. For more helpful worksheets visit: happywholeyou.com and you can email us at happywholeyou@gmail.com.
“The one thing you have that no one else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live only as you can.”
-Neil Gaiman
Worksheet #1 – The Trash Can
Before venturing on I would like you to take a moment and mentally throw away any negative inner bully energy. I have a variety of worksheets throughout this book that will aid you in becoming a more Happy-Whole-You. This first worksheet is your Happy-Whole-You Trash Can. Take every negative thing in your life and write it on one of these shapes. Everything you write on this sheet is going in the trash. You are throwing these things away forever by writing them down. Print a larger copy from my HappyWholeYou.com website.
