Stop Your Inner Bully

Hi Friends,

One topic that you will hear me speaking about is the "inner bully." Some people refer to this as the negative voice inside your head. Whatever you call it, step on it, and throw it out!

We are so hard on ourselves and we need to stop! Think of some the mindless negative things you may say to yourself everyday. What are they? Do they sound something like; "I wish I had it all together like she does." or "I look fat in that." or "When will I catch a break?" or "She is better than me at everything?" or "Why does my marriage struggle so much?" or "Man she is the best Christian ever!" or "I am too old, or too fat, or not good enough." STOP!

We all have an inner bully that pushes us down in life. The worse part is that we allow it! Why? If we said half the negative things we said to ourselves to someone else we definitely would not have many friends.

I am here to tell you to STOP bullying yourself. NO one, and I mean NO one, has it all together 100% of the time, so don't allow your inner bully to tell you otherwise. Our inner bully will cause us to be tense around others and decrease our ability to reason clearly. This usually leads to us taking our stress out on loved ones.. like our spouse! I am guilty of that!

Just today had to call up a neighbor (I have never done this before) and asked if she and her husband could watch our two kids for two hours. They agreed and I went out to dinner with my husband for the first time in months...MONTHS!!! An argument that sparked this morning, I took as an encouraging moment to make a plan to have one on one time, for what I called a "Save our marriage dinner." We let way too much time go between husband and wife time. It was nice and I am thankful our neighbors helped us out. The thing is if I had not set this up I am 99% sure there would still be tension between us, and my inner bully would point out how I needed to work on my marriage and tell me I wasn't doing a good job as a wife. A positive mind followed by action is the antidote to defeating the inner bully. Since I took action and set up a dinner were my spouse and I were able to talk things out. Communication is key! The less he communicates and the less I communicate the less enjoyable our marriage is. So remember everyone has their problems, so don't allow your inner bully to compare you to others.

The best thing we can start to do is reprogram our brains to look to the positive in every situation. Like this morning after the argument I knew this was a opportunity to spend time together (just us). Instead of letting things fester I addressed what was going on with a positive alternative to staying home, watching TV, and ignoring each other... yes that has happened!

Reprogramming your mindset to shift to the positive takes time but let me give you some examples of how you could rethink things! Your boss yells at you for missing a deadline. You say to you: "I am sure glad next time I will not let this happen. What a great learning opportunity!" Yes, you may not say this so chipper right away, but say it to yourself and once the pissed off look on your boss's face wears off you will digest the lesson and still have a smile on your face. Or let's say you forget to pay the credit card bill on time. You must say to yourself: "This is a good lesson. You worked hard for your money and now you are giving it a way for being late on a payment. I will not let this happen again." This is much better than crying and stressing over this late payment and you may even be able to get the late payment waived if you call the company and apologize that this one time you were late. If you are late more than once that is a whole other topic and blog post coming soon!

Here are some quick mind-shifts to reprogram your brain:

1. You failed again- shift to-You learned another new way not to do it!

2. That will never happen-shift to-How can I make this happen!

3. Dam that driver-shift to-Looks like they are in a hurry.

4. That will take too long-shift to-I am going to enjoy the process.

5. Your boss dislikes you-shift to-He/She is just getting to know me!

6. You have been gaining weight-shift to-I am starting to walk everyday on my break and I feel great.

7. A coworker is being rude-shift to-Maybe she is having a bad day; I am glad my day is looking up!

8. Your kids are driving you crazy-shift to-They are such a blessing and this time is going to fly by.

You will defeat the inner bully if you saturate your mind with positive thoughts! Find the good in all the bad. Go to the positive and enjoy the missteps of your day! -Anna

#bullying #happiness #love #happywholeyou #health #livehappy

Earthing: Don’t be Electron Deficient

Have you heard of the term Earthing? Earthing is a natural way to heal your body by connecting your skin to the earth. But why, you ask? Our Earth is alive and shares electrons we need. With the increased inflammation in our bodies scientist have now found links between touching our skin on the earth to decreased body inflammation.

You may be asking yourself, don't we already touch the earth? We walk on it everyday! Actually we do not touch the earth like we use to. If you think about it, when is the last time you walked barefoot on the grass or sand? The last time you put your feet in the ocean? When is the last time you laid your body on the ground? We are always wearing synthetic soles on our feet

. We sleep high off the ground in our beds. We walk on carpet or tile floors all day long. We do not connect to the earth like our ancestors did. Our ancestors use to sleep on the ground and dig in the dirt (this is why gardening is so good!). Many of us pay gardeners and we definitely don't sleep on the bare ground any more.

So, what can we do to improve our connection with the earth:

  1. Walk barefoot around in your front or backyard every morning for ten minutes. I do this every morning. You can follow me on SnapChat: Vanna2go
  2. Walk barefoot on any open grass area and damp grass is best.
  3. Put your feet in the ocean! Ocean water is the best conductor for earthing.
  4. Stretch on the grass. Sit down and let your legs connect.
  5. Sleep on an Earthing mat. You can order these online or get at some local health food stores.
  6. No grass? Walking on concrete barefoot can also provide some electron connection.
  7. Get your hands dirty and start to garden. Plant some flowers, fruits, and veggies.

For more information on Earthing I suggest you check out a book called “Earthing: The most important health discovery ever!” This book is by: Clinton Ober, Stephen t. Sinatra, M.D. and Martin Zucker. In this book they document how earthing constantly produces benefits, such as:

-Rapid reduction in inflammation

-Reduction in chronic pain even elimination of some chronic pain

-Reduced Stress

-Increased Energy

-Improved Sleep

-Faster recovery time for injuries

Let me know how Earthing helps you.

Get your Earth on! -Anna

#earthing #grounding #ocean #health #happiness #fitmama #livehappy #organic

Vampire Facial: Most Organic Facial

Today I decided to try the PRP (platelet rich plasma) facial, also known as, the Vampire Facial. The idea of taking my own blood, putting it back in my face and on my skin to heal my skin, seemed like a safe and healthier solution versus getting a chemical peel or laser treatment done. I also had a PRP injection in my foot to help heal the plantar fascia that I torn weeks ago and if injecting my own blood into my foot can heal a tendon or ligament I figured it must have incredible healing properties for the face.

I found a very educated and experienced doctor who explained the whole process to me. A PRP facial is where they take your own blood and spin it in a machine. The properties in the blood separate into what looks like a red liquid (red and white blood cells) and yellow liquid (platelet rich plasma). Both liquids are used during the facial.

First the doctor uses a derma roller to roll across the Skin. This causes little holes to be poked in your skin and then the red and white blood cells are massage into the skin (they do this 2 or 3 times). Once they use all the red liquid they let it sit on the skin for about 15 minutes. At the very end, if you choose, the doctor can take some of the red liquid and injected around the eyes or mouth. This doesn't feel good, but it is tolerable. After all of the red liquid is used and has set on your skin for 15 minutes it is then wiped off. Before you leave, the doctor then uses the yellow liquid and massages that into the skin. You wear this on your skin until the next day. It is clear and feels like a thin mask.

To me this facial is a no-brainer. You are using your own body compounds to recruit stem cells to repair damaged skin. I have included some pictures and steps from my experience below. This procedure cost me $500. Some doctors will charge up to $1,500. It's very important that you have a doctor who knows what they are doing and have experience with PRP. You also want someone who knows how to properly give this type of facial using the derma roller. Be sure to talk to your physician and feel comfortable with their technique. The benefits of the PRP facial will continue 3, 6, and 12 months from the day you get it. I am excited to reevaluate my skin in the next 3 months and every three months after that. I plan to get this facial once a year. Feel free to reach out to me on Facebook or SnapChat (Vanna2go) if you have any questions.

The season for overeating…Not this year!

It is that time of year again. The richness of our favorite holiday dishes and the added calories of our sweet specialty drinks are all within our reach over the next couple months. This is a special time for family and friends. A time that leaves us joyful in the moments, but a time that can leave us feeling guilty for overindulging. I have some mindful tricks that you can take to steer yourself clear of gaining the holiday weight!

  • Have a game plan, Prep-Prep-Prep! You know what parties you will be attending and you know the office will be filled with cookies and treats. This is a great reason to meal prep your lunches and snacks for the weeks to come. Have high nutrient foods really to grab and go. Make a spinach salad for each day. Have pre-cut veggie sticks and some apples to grab. PREP-PREP-PREP!
  • Have celery! Before every meal or at least before you attend a party or dinner eat two full celery sticks and have 8-10 oz of water before you go. Celery is full of fiber and water. This can help curb your appetite and keep you regular.
  • Take smaller portions and chew! A big key is to put less on your plate. When you fill your plate don’t let the different foods touch. This is a great way to keep portions down and as you eat your smaller portions make sure you CHEW. Chew 15-20 times before you swallow. Slow down! It takes your brain about 15 minutes to register that you are full and satisfied.
  • Drink up your H2O! Drinking more water during the holidays is a must. Staying hydrated will keep cravings to a minimum and help eliminate toxins from your body. I recommend drinking 16-20 oz of ice cold water every morning and then every hour down 8-10oz of water. If you are drinking coffee you want to be sure to double your water intake in the morning hours.
  • Move your body! Vow to walk or move for at least 30 minutes every day while at work. This can mean you take the stairs, park in the furthest parking spot from the building, exercise on your breaks. Stay moving! I recommend doing this extra 30 minutes during your workday without eliminating what your workout routine already is. This is an add-in for the next couple months.
  • Spice things up and hide the salt! Add some flavor to your dishes with spices like, turmeric, paprika, and cayenne pepper. Also use jalapeno peppers and herbs to add flavor. Also limit your salt intake. A great salt substitute that actually is salt and potassium is called “Salt for Life.” You can get it on ebay! I love it and it is 75% less sodium. It’s just potassium dipped in salt. Look it up and enjoy!
  • Catch-up! This is a great time of year to pick up the phone and call an old friend. And while you are at it go for a walk or jump on your workout machine while you are chatting! This is good for your body and soul.
  • Stay positive! Vow to only post positive things on your social media outlets and share healthy snacks and recipes. Also take pictures of the foods you are eating. Show how eating healthy is easy and if you can do it so can everyone else!
  • Give Thanks! Every night write down three things you are thankful for. Keep this list going beyond the holidays, but you can use this list to share at the Thanksgiving table. Daily gratitude is good for all aspects of your overall well-being. Have your family participate in this as well.

Enjoy this time with your friends and family and I encourage you to spread joy to all those around you! -Anna

#holidays #eatclean #healthy #healthymama #happiness #befit #fiber

Weight Loss…The Missing Link… (Free Printable Download)

Have you ever been on a diet plan that included a workout regimen while limiting your food intake in order to lose weight? Did that plan ever suggest you improve other areas of your life simultaneously while improving diet and movement routine? Did you ever gain any of the weight back from your past diet programs? Did you ever feel deprived while on the program? Did you feel that your willpower was the only thing that stood in the way of you being happier, lighter, and more fulfilled?

All too often we think a diet and exercise routine is the ultimate answer to our weight loss, happiness, and well-being. I will not deny that nutritious eating and an exercise plan is very important, but they are not the only element needed for health success.

You must include working on all aspects of your life for any weight loss to stick. And I would guess the goal is not really weight loss... the goal is happiness with a fulfilling life.

So you may be asking, “What? Diet and exercise alone are not enough?” I am here to tell you, NO. You must take the “Whole." This “Whole” approach can be referred to as“Wholism” which is referenced in my book, "Stop Bullying Yourself!"

I spell wholism with a “W” because you need to be a whole person first. Wholism marries the words whole and Holistic. It is the practice of Holistic medicine that treats the whole person, as you too should treat all aspects of your life when you are on a journey towards health and happiness. Joining the whole approach with the Holistic approach to your life is key for long term success. At the end of the day, you need to be emotionally healthy, physically healthy, spiritually healthy, financially healthy, and healthy in your relationships with everyone, including the paramount relationship with yourself. So, you see it is not just diet and exercise alone that help you lose weight and keep you feeling great, you must add-in improvements in each area of your life.

An example of some areas to work on:

Building strong relationships! Why? Good relationships create the release of the hormone Oxytocin. Oxytocin is great for your heart, emotional well-being, it is an antioxidant. I have heard it termed as the anti-obesity hormone. Strong relationships also can help lower anxiety and create more confidence in your life. Do you think building stronger relationships would help you keep weight off? Or help you lose weight?

Improve your financial health! Many people lose sleep, stress eat, and get in arguments due to financial stress. Any time we increase our inner-stress a hormone called cortisol is released. The more cortisol you release throughout your day can impact your waistline and keep you from getting restful sleep. Some things you can do to minimize financial stress is to give yourself a budget, however, if you do not know where your money is already going you must track your spending first. Find out what you are spending your money on. Also, stop using credit! Once you give yourself a budget, give yourself cash for all your expenses for the week or only use a debit card. The key is to keep track of your debits, so you are not mindlessly swiping your credit card. I have found when I have my finances under control I am happier, I choose healthier foods, I sleep better, and I have more energy. Do you think this can help you lose weight or keep weight off?

Nurture yourself daily! You must take time for you! This will help lower stress and keep that cortisol level in check. A cost-effective way to treat yourself to some “me” time is to set up your bathroom and bedroom with a peaceful approach. Give yourself a bubble bath, exfoliate, shave, give yourself a facial, and moisturize your skin every night. Light some candles. Take all of your electronics out of your room. Go to bed early and limit your social media time to 10 minutes a day. Say daily affirmations to yourself and give thanks before turning in for the night. If you do have room in your budget go get a massage, buy quality sheets for your bed, make sure you have a comfy mattress that works for you. Maybe look into getting a sound machine (this would be the only electronics I suggest). The key here is to take time for you daily. Do you think a little “you” time every day would help you improve your health and even help you with weight loss?

As you can see you need more than just nutritious food and exercise. You need to practice wholism to have a wholistic life. I have created a Matrix for you to double-check and see if you are living a wholistically life every day. Use this matrix as a reminder for self-improvement and to keep you on track to reach your goals. It is not about a perfect balance or about perfection. Wholism is about being mindful of each aspect of your life and touching on each aspect every day. Also, get a coach to help you with this. Life coaches are a great asset to add to one's life.

See the matrix below...

Download the Happy Whole You Daily pdf worksheet!

#fitness #HealthyLiving #happiness #love #weightloss #momlife

Photo Credit https://simpleefocused.com/

Stop Bullying Yourself! (Free Printable Download)

Do you ever feel like you are just coming up a little short? Do you ever feel stuck? Do you ever feel like you are doing all the right things and still wonder why you’re struggling? Why you have not gotten the promotion you have been working towards? Why your relationships always seem to be problematic? Why life seems so hard? Have you ever wanted to learn something new, a new language, a new skill or whatever else, but don't? Why don't you? Have you ever wanted to lose weight and eat more fruits and vegetables, but have neither lost the weight nor improved your diet? Why? Have you ever wanted to volunteer more, or keep your house cleaner, or take a trip, but haven't? The answer is that your inner bully is leading your life's dance. Yes, you, the very person reading this! You are the biggest bully of all. You and only you are allowing your inner bully to control your life! Are you getting this? It is not your circumstances or those of someone else holding you back in life. You are holding yourself back from dancing freely and living a whole life.

You have an inner voice, a voice that tells you how great you are. But it can also, all too often, tell you that you are anything but great. It tells you to be “practical” and to “not dream too big.” It says, “You’re not good enough,” and “You deserve just what you have and nothing more.” It can try to convince you that you are “somehow less” than those around you.

You may not pay attention to this negative voice, but if it’s not dealt with, it will destroy your dreams, aspirations, relationships – in short, damage the quality of your life. It can stomp on your spirit and hold you down. This is the voice of your inner bully. The difference between a happy, successful person and everyone else is the successful person has learned how to win the battle with their inner bully and dance freely.

You can be a smart, talented, and awesome person, but your inner bully can make you think you are average or stupid, untalented, even a loser. If you’re a recent grad, your inner bully can make your feel as if you have no skills and don’t belong anywhere. It’s the inner bully that will make a new mom feel guilty because she’s chosen to work, or make her feel unsuccessful if she’s chosen to stay home with her new baby. It is the inner bully that encourages you to stay at a boring job because you believe you that you’ll never find anything else, or that you’re too old to change jobs, or too invested to start your own business. The inner bully uses the fear of failure to play you like a puppet. The inner bully will take your spirit and try to suppress it, slow you down, and ultimately stop you from reaching your passions and desires.

Like the bills that come every month, the tax season around the corner, and a bad penny, your inner bully constantly shows up to challenge you. Because its presence is so routine, you may actually have become numb to its destructive influence and feel that you have no control over it. But you do have control!

The toxicity of your inner bully’s negative self-talk will lead to the deterioration of your self-worth and the poisoning of a happy life if you are not able to recognize and squash its voice. Your inner bully is sneaky; you may deny that you even have an inner bully. News flash: You have an inner bully. I have an inner bully. Everyone does! Most people pass up the opportunity to deal with their inner bully. Those of you that grab a hold of it and combat it by using the strategies provided ahead will experience a more abundant, whole life. The longer you fail to address your inner bully, the less productive you will be, the more negative your outlook will become, and the less money you will make. You must address your inner bully in order to grow. You must suffocate the destructive words you say to yourself, so you will succeed!

I know all about the inner bully. I had allowed my inner bully to control my happiness and success for years before I learned how to dominate it. In formulating the worksheets and exercises provided on my website you can defeat the bully within you by living wholisticlly (Yes, spelled with a "w").

So, what is the inner bully and how do you overcome its destructive influence? What is the key that will unlock the happy, successful future you deserve and what is the formula that will leave you dancing a beautiful life-dance? The answer is to put a little effort into each aspect of your life everyday and get rid of the "trash" in your life. You will begin with getting rid of the trash with the worksheet provided below. Then you must evaluate where you are now by doing the happy-whole-you-daily worksheet. From there you will reveal the areas in your life that need some extra attention. Remember, anytime you work towards improving one area of your life don't abandon the other areas. For more helpful worksheets visit: happywholeyou.com and you can email us at happywholeyou@gmail.com.

“The one thing you have that no one else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live only as you can.”

-Neil Gaiman

Worksheet #1 – The Trash Can

Before venturing on I would like you to take a moment and mentally throw away any negative inner bully energy. I have a variety of worksheets throughout this book that will aid you in becoming a more Happy-Whole-You. This first worksheet is your Happy-Whole-You Trash Can. Take every negative thing in your life and write it on one of these shapes. Everything you write on this sheet is going in the trash. You are throwing these things away forever by writing them down. Print a larger copy from my HappyWholeYou.com website.

Click here for PDF download

#happiness #love #HealthyLiving #Stress #fitness #bullying

Overeating? Do you know what vitamin you lack?

For many of us when we think of environment we think of the air we breathe, the city we live in, or the land we live on. We must not forget one of the most important things about our environment, our relationships.

I have worked with many individuals, trying to help them lose weight, gain self-confidence, or just help them feel better. The common denominator for many of the individuals I have helped coach was they were lacking one specific vitamin… Vitamin L for Love. These individuals had faulting relationships with their spouses, boy or girlfriends, and with themselves.

One client I had struggled with binge eating at night. I asked her what her nightly pattern was from the moment she got home to the time she went to bed. This woman was married and had two children. She told me she would get home with her kids, they would all eat some type of snack. Then her spouse would get home about thirty minutes later with some type of fast food dinner. After they all ate she would go into one room to watch TV and her husband in the other room to also watch TV. The kids would be in their rooms, on their computers or on some electronic device. She said she would be watching TV and then find herself going into the kitchen to eat, then she would go back to her show, then back to the kitchen, and then back to her show. Before she knew it she consumed over half of gallon of ice cream, some chips, and some type of drink. I asked her how often this would happen. She said most nights unless her kids had a school sport or event. When the children had an event she found herself thinking of what she was going to eat when she got home. Food consumed her.

This story is all too familiar and I could relate on many levels. The big environmental factor that was impacting her behavior was the lack of vitamin L, LOVE. The lack of love for herself. Lack of love from her spouse. Do you think she would have the same binge eating behavior if when her spouse got home, everyday, she was excited to see him and he was excited to see her? If every evening they chose to visit with each other, or watch a show together, or go take a walk, or even play cards. Then do you think she would be binge eating? Do you think if she spent more quality time with the kids, as a family, would this binge eating occur? My answer is no.

She tried my theory of spending quality time with her spouse and kids every night for one week. She found herself happier when her spouse would take a walk with her, and when she and the kids made dinner together. She started a new nightly pattern!

I share this story with you because, all too often, we get caught up in the mumbo-jumbo of life and when we get home we do what seems easy and relaxing. Unfortunately, this will not be the case months down the road. This is a destructive pattern and if you can relate, on any level, step in, and make a change. The things that seem small now grow into problems down the road.

Pick one new thing you can add in your nightly routine ( ex: a walk, making family dinner, playing cards, etc.) to enhance your relationships. Do this for the next week, every night and report back.

Enjoy the change! -Anna

#happiness #love #mindset

mom life

Moms, Do you want time to workout?

Dear Moms,

The days go by fast, our kids grow up even faster and before we know it... weeks, months, and years have gone by since we last took time to exercise regularly. Over the years we develop a mindset that, "We just don't have the time to get to the gym," and that is okay, but I am here to tell you that we DO have the time to move our bodies. Even when we bring our kids to soccer practice, piano lessons, play dates and even when we are making dinner there is time for you. We are always on the go and so should our workouts. This is why we don't have to go to the gym for a good sweat. All too often we associate our ability to workout with the idea that we must do it at the gym. We must stop this! Add movement into what you are already doing.

If you are at your child’s practice, instead of sitting in the stands I encourage you to take a walk. Do some squats, push-ups or step-ups on the bleachers. Yes, move your body while your kid is moving their body. The best way to do this is to ask some other moms to join you. I have never met a mom that didn't want to be in better shape. Moms WILL join you.

If your kid is at piano lessons or at some session that is a more quiet environment, step outside and go for a walk. If your kid is at the dentist… Don't just sit in the waiting room and play on your phone, turn up your Pandora, go outside and see where your feet take you. You can do lunges in the parking lot. You can do step-ups on a curb or even do a walk-jog around the building, just move!

If you have a play-date this is the best time to workout with the other moms. Get your kids involved. Turn up Kids Bop and dance with your kids. Guess what? Dancing is cardio. You can take 10 minutes at a play-date and do some push-ups, squats, lunges, sit-ups… you get the point.

Even when you are making dinner you can add movement while cooking. While you are waiting for the timer to go off add some squats, add a 20 second plank hold or just turn up some good music and dance while you are cooking. I love to incorporate music into my day, it adds a little pep-in-my-step.

There is time ladies. We just need to be creative. Please send me some ways you add movement to your mom-life. -Anna

#monlife #exercise #health #family #weightloss

5 Keys for Healthy Days from Amy West – Health Fanatic!

Hello social media world, my name is Amy West. Thinking about five keys to a successful healthy day was hard to narrow down, but here our my top 5:

  1. Sleep- This girl needs her beauty sleep! I work best on 8.5 to 9 hours of sleep each night. We need sleep for our brains to work properly, sharper thinking, less accidents, and maintaining over all health.
  2. Mediation- I start my day in God's word. This allows me to start my day off right. I need that quiet time to reflect and focus on the blessings that I have received. Pray for trials and situations that I am facing or that others are facing. This allows for a greater appreciation of life.
  3. Water- My goal each day is to drink half my body weight in ounces. I know that our bodies are composed of 65% of water! So, just think if you are not drinking enough water how this severely limits your body. We need water for every cell, high energy energy, healthy skin, better thinking, digestion, and hydration helps you feel less fatigued when you exercise.
  4. Exercise- After meditation I like to exercise! Whether that is walking the dogs, running outside or going to the gym. I feel better when I get a workout in the morning. Now of course there are days that I take off or exercise in the afternoon, it all depends on how my body is feeling. When we exercise we have an increase in dopamine to our brain and this makes us feel GOOD! It gives you a free shot of happy. It is also a stress reliever which helps with anxiety & depression. Exercise will help you feel more confident!
  5. Nutrition- I know we all know what we should or should not do, but we need to practice common sense and make those healthy choices. Eating McDonald's three times a day or even three times a week, is not nourishing our bodies. I know I feel better - when I eat better. I try to eat fruits and veggies each day. I try to stay away from sugar because I know how addictive it is and how it harms our bodies. I am a pescatarian, so I don't eat meat from land animals. I eat several small meals a day and try to incorporate a lot of protein. I also use natural supplements from Plexus to keep my gut health balanced, sugar balanced, and decrease my inflammation.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

Romans 12:12

http://shopmyplexus.com/awest777/index.html

Your Emotions Will Hold You Back from Success!

Most everything you do is done based on how you feel. You sleep in because you feel tired. You eat junk food because you feel entitled or you deserve it (for whatever reason). You shop because you feel you deserve something new. You get upset with our boss because he hurt your feelings. You skip a workout because you feel overwhelmed with everything going on. You choose a job that makes you feel safe. You choose activities that make you feel comfortable and confident. All these reactions are inspired by emotions. What if you shifted your mindset and started thinking - not feeling - before making decisions? What if you trusted yourself and stopped trusting your emotions? Do you think this is possible?

I want you to stop the “feeling - then - reacting” pattern in your life. Yes, feelings are good and have a place but for you to truly be happy and satisfied you need to ask yourself, without feeling, what do I want to become? What is it that you want to become based on your destiny? This may take you some time to figure out but I will tell you this. If you stop acting based on your feelings and start acting based on what you want to truly become you will make better decisions by taking productive action.

For example: If you want to become a successful business owner you will need to draw up a business plan, talk to investors, and maybe take some business classes or look to those doing what you want for direction. Now if you start to feel overwhelmed during this process and you start to feel it is too hard, you will start taking actions that drive you away from your goal. Like, putting off business calls because you just can't take one more rejection… again your feelings getting in the way. You may choose to sleep in and take the day off because you feel you have done so much and nothing is changing… so what is one day off, right? You make these decisions based on your feelings when you really should be asking yourself, “What do I want to become? Why did I start this? Who do I want to become?” Ask yourself these questions when you start reacting and making decisions based on your emotions. Answer these questions straight to the point and take actions that move you towards your goals and towards the person you want to become.

We stop reminding ourselves of what we want to become because our feelings get in the way and cloud our vision. We all struggle, and when struggle occurs, that is most often when people stop doing the things that were moving them towards their goals. We get sidetracked by our emotions and lose sight of our goals and focus too much on how we feel. This emotional distraction can even occur when we hit a high. We get excited about something that happened and we did so well, then shortly after this high, we stop doing the things that got us to that excitement. This takes us back to our autopilot state and you know what happens there (if you don't know what autopilot is you must read Stop Bullying Yourself! Available on Amazon in April 10, 2017).

I believe the biggest reason people fail at meeting their business goals and even their health goals, such as, eating healthier and exercising, is because they let their emotions control them. They don't let the person they want to become be their focal point. They focus on how they feel, what they don't have, what they are missing out on, when in fact if they focused on who they were becoming and the actions needed to reach their goals they would find success.

Tips to stop letting emotions lead your life:

  1. Find others that are who you want to become. Proceed with caution as well. It is great to have a mentor but understand that they are not perfect and it was not easy for them either. Be mindful of this.
  2. We must stop asking our friend who is working as a computer technician how to successfully open a gym. We need to stop asking our family or friends about their diet plans when they too are still overweight, not eating healthy or reaching their goals. We go to those we feel comfortable with instead of going to those who know, who have done, and those who are doing what we want.
  3. Check your feelings at the door when you are deciding who it is that you want to become. Our feelings will make you choose to be practical and will guide you to choose the easier route. Just think, “Who do I want to become and why?”
  4. Be okay and proud when you fail at something and look for the lessons, then remind yourself of what you learned and how that is helping you become or achieve your goals.

Remember, true happiness comes out of struggle if and only if, when you were struggling, you did not allow your emotions to dictate you, but you allowed your vision of who you are becoming to drive you and guide you. Look very closely at how your day is dictated. Is it dictated by your emotions or your destiny?

success #mindset #StopBullyingYourself

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