Ladies & Gents,
I hope I have heard it for the last time, but as much as I hope for this, I know it is not the last time hearing, “Well it is easy for you because……..!” You can fill in the blank. I have committed my life to help others create the health and happiness they have always dreamed of. Yet, at least once a week I hear that phrase, “Well it’s easy for you…” and it kills me… They are looking at a change to health, wellness, happiness all wrong. I ask, “What is easy for me? Good health? Daily happiness? EASY, you claim?” Nothing is truly easy, especially when you are working against the norms and the odds. I would not use the word “easy” but I would say it is “easiER” for me now than years past. Why?
You see, it does get easiER to be healthier and happier when you shoot for progress and not perfection. But, I would like you to consider a couple of things: One, just because someone has, acts, or displays characteristics or actions that you are working towards don't allow your inner bully (yes, that voice inside your mind that tries to bring you down and compare you to others) to trick you into thinking the struggle isn’t real for the person in front of you. Don't allow the inner bully to allow you to judge yourself based on someone else’s appearance of health, wealth, happiness, and success.
The truth is we don't see the weight others are carrying inside. We don't see the past trauma from childhood or the mess of a recent divorce. The truth is if you think it's easy for someone to ask them where they have been, what they have been through, because in my personal experience what looks easy has become a movement towards the positive by many tiny choices the individual has made. You want to capture how they are doing that, how they are choosing positivity, progress, and success. Don’t chase what they look like on the outside, but how they feel on the inside!
The only reason it is easiER for me to skip the 2nd piece of cake or skip eating potato chips late at night, or drive right past every fast food eatery is that I have made enough small healthier choices in my life that have allowed me to realize I don't need or want those things. I used to binge eat, crave late-night snacking. Yes, I used to think about food 24/7 and allow what I was going to eat, or what I ate, to control my daily life. So, I share this with you not because it's easy for me to choose healthier foods daily, but because I choose ME! I made a conscious decision to let go of the inner weight that was dragging me down.
Why is it easIER for me to get up at 4:45 a.m. to workout? Because I have done it for a long time and because I always have a partner to meet and workout with. It was never easy from the beginning. I used to hit my alarm clock and say, “I will just workout later.” Later would always come but the workout would not. I had to put my alarm clock across the room from where I was sleeping. I had to get more than one workout partner to hold me accountable. And, most importantly, when I wanted to go back to bed, I would think of how GOOD I would feel when I was done and how I was lying to myself if I thought I would “work out later.” You see, it only became easIER once I started a routine, got support, and repeated this routine over and over. Now, morning workouts are a staple in my day, not a nuisance. How will you make fitness a part of your day and make it stick, so it becomes easIER for you to choose fitness?
The only reason it is easiER for me to be positive at work on a daily basis is that I used to be the biggest Debbie downer! I used to point out and look for all the things wrong in my life and all the things wrong at my job. I use to complain about everything to everyone and walk around like I was so stressed out. But in reality, the only reason I was “so stressed out” was because that was what I made myself believe. I needed to let go of that voice of my inner bully. That voice that turned me into a victim. Yes, a victim! I would constantly think, “nobody is helping me”, “I am the only person stressed out and my boss is not doing their part.” As long as I could find the “wrong” in others, or the “wrong” in my environment - I could justify stewing in my own self-pity and stress. This way of living became exhausting! Until, I chose to start looking for the positive and start looking for the things I could, and should, be grateful for. Making these small choices over time allowed my mindset to open up and see these positives. After a while, I was seeing the positives everywhere!
I can go on and on...and on about all the wrong choices I have made and all the bad things that have happened to me, like: getting fired, being bullied, losing a TON of money after being scammed, having my boss treat me poorly while having an affair with a coworker, not getting a raise like my male counterpart, not being invited to the big party, having to support myself from a young age, being neglected, being cheated on, being assaulted, being lied to, being looked over for a promotion because I am a female, not getting the same care because of my economic status. Yes, I could go on and on...and on, but how would that benefit you or me? The past is the past, but the lessons are there. My growth and inspiration for change lie within those lessons. So, I share this with you because next time you think to yourself, “It’s easy for her or him or them...”, just know that it's not easy for anyone, but that it just may SEEM easy because that individual has made choices to change their circumstances to make it easIER for them. This happens because of all the small choices they have made - over time - to move the needle towards the positives in their life.
Don't allow your inner bully to hide you from success. You must change what is going on within you in order to change what is going on around you, because the reality is, when you change your mindset, when you change the choice pattern you currently practice - over time - you will start seeing your environment through a different lens.